Sometimes

-i miss you.
The old you.
Actually, you haven't changed. I miss who I thought you were.
You've always been a rude, cynical man. I was just too naive to notice.
Back then we used to have fun. I was your buddy, your best friend, your "goobie".
Not anymore.

Now we barely talk. I can go days without talking to you, and obviously you can do the same. Sometimes i purposely ignore your phone calls. Honestly, can you blame me? I don't want to subject myself to your repetitive drunken attitude.
You only listen to half the things I say, it gets so frustrating. I feel as if my thoughts don't matter to you. That bothers me, more than you would think.
For some strange reason I want to make you proud. Not that you'll ever notice, but i do.
Sure, I can put up a tough exterior and act like you don't effect me, but you do.
Ya wanna know something? I failed my Math class.
I can't make those words come out of my mouth.
I don't want to be a disappointment to you.
So whenever we talk I tell you everything is fine. You don't ask questions, rather you simply move the conversation right along and bring up something to complain about.
All I want is to be valued and for you to be proud of me. I want you to ask about my future, and actually give a damn. Sometimes I hope you'll ask about my future plans or even just specifics in my life, and I wait patiently on the phone. You never do though.

Sometimes I think back to us playing baseball in the front yard.You always made me feel like I was the best, as if I could hit the ball farther than anyone. I genuinely miss that.
I've always had this constant desire to make you happy. I loved those summer days. Actually, I think we may still have that old, sun-faded whiffle bat in the garage...