Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Sometimes

-i miss you.
The old you.
Actually, you haven't changed. I miss who I thought you were.
You've always been a rude, cynical man. I was just too naive to notice.
Back then we used to have fun. I was your buddy, your best friend, your "goobie".
Not anymore.

Now we barely talk. I can go days without talking to you, and obviously you can do the same. Sometimes i purposely ignore your phone calls. Honestly, can you blame me? I don't want to subject myself to your repetitive drunken attitude.
You only listen to half the things I say, it gets so frustrating. I feel as if my thoughts don't matter to you. That bothers me, more than you would think.
For some strange reason I want to make you proud. Not that you'll ever notice, but i do.
Sure, I can put up a tough exterior and act like you don't effect me, but you do.
Ya wanna know something? I failed my Math class.
I can't make those words come out of my mouth.
I don't want to be a disappointment to you.
So whenever we talk I tell you everything is fine. You don't ask questions, rather you simply move the conversation right along and bring up something to complain about.
All I want is to be valued and for you to be proud of me. I want you to ask about my future, and actually give a damn. Sometimes I hope you'll ask about my future plans or even just specifics in my life, and I wait patiently on the phone. You never do though.

Sometimes I think back to us playing baseball in the front yard.You always made me feel like I was the best, as if I could hit the ball farther than anyone. I genuinely miss that.
I've always had this constant desire to make you happy. I loved those summer days. Actually, I think we may still have that old, sun-faded whiffle bat in the garage...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Potential Eskimo.

A crisp, white blanket of snow covers our busy campus...
Sounds pretty, huh? Well, It is, to some degree. Though not completely satisfying. The sun is out and it's fairly bright. My sister and I have this opinion that when it's snowing outside, it shouldn't be sunny. I don't want to complain, because with sun comes heat, and I am quite the freeze baby. However, It's not a combination that I'm especially fond of.
The sun's heat will melt the snow and then the delicate white powder will turn into gray slush.
Aside from the slush it looks incredibly bright. The reflection of the sun upon the snow doesn't exactly make it easy to see. I find myself half way squinting as I walk to class.
My ideal winter day consists of a dark sky and big snowflakes, the ones that seem to fall in slow motion from the sky and stick to your eyelashes. To me, that is perfection at it's finest.
I think I'll move to Alaska...